Female Slogans!

1. I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
2. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it!
3. Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later!
4. Of course I don't look busy. . . I did it right the first time!
5. Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
6. Do NOT start with me! You will NOT win!
7. You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT THE FUCK UP!
8. I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
9. Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
10. I hate everybody, and you're next!
11. Don't make me kill you!
12. And your fucking point is?
13. All stressed out and no one to choke!
14. How the fuck can I miss you if you won't get the fuck away from me??
15. Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
16. Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!
17. You KNOW you want me.
18. Don't worry. It'll only seem kinky the first time.
19. You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?
20. I'm out of oestrogen and I have a gun!

999

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate
men everywhere? "'Hold my purse.'"

Senior Texting Code!!!

ATD: At The Doctor's

BFF: Best Friend Farted

BTW: Bring The Wheelchair

BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM: Covered By Medicare

CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center

DWI: Driving While Incontinent

FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers

FWIW: Forgot Where I Was

FYI: Found Your Insulin

GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!

GHA: Got Heartburn Again

HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement

IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL: Living On Lipitor

LWO: Lawrence Welk's On

OMMR: On My Massage Recliner

OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.

ROFLCGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up

SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop

TTYL: Talk To You Louder

WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?

WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again

WTP: Where's The Prunes?

WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil

(From BBIX34)

THE POWER OF SHIT!

Yes, another swear word I like, though NOT NEARLY as much as FUCK!! Lol.
Just think of all the concepts and ideas you can communicate
with it. Shit may just be the most powerful word in the
English language.
CONSIDER THIS:
You can be shitfaced,
be shit out of luck,
or have shit for brains.
With a little effort you can get your shit together,
find a place for your shit
or decide to shit or get off the pot.
You can smoke shit,
buy shit,
sell shit,
lose shit,
find shit,
forget shit,
and tell others to eat shit and die.
You can shit or go blind,
have a shit fit
or just shit your life away.
People can be shit headed,
shit brained,
shit blinded,
and shit over.
Some people know their shit
while others can't tell the difference between shit and
shinola.
There are lucky shits,
dumb shits,
crazy shits,
and sweet shits.
There is bull shit,
horse shit
and chicken shit.
You can throw shit,
sling shit,
catch shit,
or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can take a shit,
give a shit,
or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit,
or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit,
some days are hotter than shit,
and some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit,
things can look like shit,
and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit,
not enough shit,
the right shit,
the wrong shit
or a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit,
have a mountain of shit,
or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
Sometimes you really need this shit
and sometimes you don't want any shit at all.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit
and other times you swim in a lake of shit and come out
smelling like a rose.
Shit!
When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic
building block of creation.
And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to
know anything else.


http://youtu.be/XuRwis3_iVk
Jack Schitt...Hillarious

The Word FUCK!!!

I loooooove this!!!!
Yes, for anyone who doesn't know, FUCK is my favorite swear word of all time!!! Lol.

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.
In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).
It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck"..
Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:
1. Greetings: How the fuck are ya?
2. Fraud: I got fucked by the car dealer.
3. Resignation: Oh, fuck it!
4. Trouble: I guess I'm fucked now.
5. Aggression: Fuck you!
6. Disgust: Fuck me.
7. Confusion: What the fuck.......?
8. Difficulty: I don't understand this fucking business!
9. Despair: Fucked again...
10. Pleasure: I fucking couldn't be happier.
11. Displeasure: What the fuck is going on here?
12. Lost: Where the fuck are we.
13. Disbelief: Unfuckingbeliveable!
14. Retaliation: Up your fucking ass!"
15. Denial: I didn't fucking do it."
16. Perplexity: I know fuck all about it."
17. Apathy: Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?
18. Suspicion: Who the fuck are you?
19. Panic: Let's get the fuck out of here!
20. Directions: Fuck off.
21. Disbelief: How the fuck did you do that?

It can be used in an anatomical description- He's a fucking asshole.
It can be used to tell time- It's five fucking thirty.
It can be used in business- How did I wind up with this fucking job?
It can be maternal- Motherfucker.
It can be political- Fuck George Bush!

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history:
What the fuck was that?
-Mayor of Hiroshima
Where did all these fucking Indians come from?
-General Custer
Where the fuck is all this water coming from?
-Captain of the Titanic
That's not a real fucking gun.
-John Lennon
Who's gonna fucking find out?
-Richard Nixon
Heads are going to fucking roll!
-Anne Boleyn
Let the fucking woman drive.
-Commander of Space Shuttle
What fucking map?
-Challenger, Mark Thatcher
Any fucking idiot could understand that!
-Albert Einstein
It does so fucking look like her!
-Picasso
How the fuck did you work that out?
-Pythagoras
-You want what on the fucking ceiling?
Michaelangelo
Fuck a duck!
-Walt Disney
Why?- Because its fucking there!
-Edmund Hilary
I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?
-Joan of Arc
Scattered fucking showers my ass!
-Noah
I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head.
-John F. Kennedy

Last Night's DREAMS!!!!!!

I got a recording from MindMovies last night and listened to it while I slept.
The recording is from Maury Zelkavich *I probably masacred the spelling of his name there*, but anyway, he's a scientist whose Brain Entrainment audio works so well he was asked to train the Brazilian police force!! Natalie talked about him on one of her Inspirational Shows and joined with him for her MindMovies colaboration.
MindMovies is her website.
Anyway, the audio recording I got is titled "Programmed for Success in Everything I Do"
So back to last night!
I'm constantly saying how I don't dream and even if I do I don't remember it!
Well last night I went to sleep and wouldn't you know? I drempt! And this morning, I woke up and I remembered!!
First dream, I'm back stage at a Poison concert! Now why, I'm TOTALLY NOT SURE, I mean, I think Brett Michaels is cool enough, but I'm definitely a grunge Woman! When I hear Poison the songs I like are "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" and the other slow one that I can't for the life of me think of the title to at the moment!
Anyway, I'm back stage and their saying someone else can come back stage if they help bring in the gear. So yours truly walks out from back stage and I am just miffed!! There is trash everywhere! And when I say everywhere, I mean EVERYWHERE!!! And it is funny to note here, that I do think about the trash people leave behind at concerts often since I'm a concert goer myself and a litter picker-upper! Lol. I HATE littering, absolutely despise it! So take the 'ordinary' amount of trash you find at a concert and multiply it by a thousand! I'm WALKING ON TRASH, not floor! That's how much trash there is! And I AM NOT HAPPY about it! So I start helping out. Next thing I know I'm back stage again and apparently exhausted, because WHO just happens to show up? And WHOM do I just happen to wrap my my arms around and lay head to chest upon??? None other than SHAUN MORGAN from SEETHER!!!!!!!!! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! No, we didn't DO anything unfortunately. . . but at least he held me! This is progress, we're getting somewhere here! Lol!!!!
So that's all one dream.
Then later on I dream about my sis /BFF Holly!! We're sitting in the room that my teacher's aid had when she worked at the middle school. Only there's a guy there this time, my teacher's aid was a Woman.
So we're sitting there talking about my Birthday for some reason, and than Holl decides to jump over the table! Lol. As in standing on one chair and deciding to take a flying leap over the length of the table and land standing in another chair! Lol.
Now this is one of the long low tables, not like the little desk with the chair attached to it.
So this guy and I are sitting here chanting hi yaw, hi yaw, hi yaw. . . Seriously??? That's more like a karate kick chant! What do I know though? I'm just the one having the dream here!!
If nothing else this put me in my thaita brainwave state so I could remember these dreams long enough to write it down!
And so that's my first experience with brain entrainment! Lol. Can't wait to see what tonight brings!
If nothing else I woke up in a great mood! That's worth a million bucks right there! Lol!