"So Close To You"

ORIGINALLY POSTED AT MY PINK POSSE BLOG ON OR NEAR
Sun, Jun 27, 2010 at 9:57 PM

It's been so long since we were this close.
I can feel your breath blow gently across my face.
You lean in & kiss me & I'm fairly certain I've left myself.
I run my fingers through your hair.
I rub your back & caress your face.
There's so many people but they cease to exist when I'm this close to you.

This close. So close & yet so far.
How can it be? How am I so close to you but not?

You ask me to stay & I wish I could!
I want to so badly, you have no idea!
This isn't the first time I've been here.
I've been here before, but it's still different.
Then again, I guess every time is different.

I'm so close to you. So close & yet so far.
How can it be? How am I so close to you but not?

I take your big soft hands in mine.
I feel them, massage them.
I even touch your nails just because I can.
I like them. Their perfect!
Then again, you're perfect!
You with all your rage, all your imperfections.
You are perfect in them.

I'm so close to you. So close & yet so far.
How can it be? How am I so close to you but not?

You hold me tightly & say you have to go.
I want to beg you to stay, but that's not dignified.
You say
"Be careful!
Get home safe. . ."
I think if I were riding with you, I would be safe.

I'm so close to you. So close & yet so far.
How can it be? How am I so close to you but not?

I give you your treat & you act like it's the first time.
Your body fills with excitement & so does mine.
To add insult to injury, you lean down for another round of kisses
before you depart.
I silently urge you on & hold your body tight against mine.
I know this will all come to nothing, but I don't care!
So go on! Give me your kisses & affection.
Their all I need to keep me moving, so go on, give them to me.

I'm so close to you & yet so far.
How can it be? How can I be so close to you but not?

"Take It!!"

I stood in the doorway waiting for you to acknowledge my presence.
You didn't. You had your back turned & kept it that way.
It seems your back is always turned to me.
Psychology says make I statements instead of you statements.
Well screw psychology! I'm about to make the most unpolitically
correct statement there is!
This, all this is your fault! For once, you will take the blame!
For once I won't feel shame.
I won't feel guilt or lowly gratitude when you pay attention to me.
Not this time! You will feel it, not me!

I still stand here in this doorway, waiting hoping.
I know you'll let me down, you always do!
It's the one thing I can count on you for!
It's the one thing you're good for, good at!
Your back is still turned.
Your attention is still elsewhere & that's okay.
Today it's okay, because I'm leaving.
No more waiting & hoping, no more crushed dreams & blind faith.
No longer will I be the doormat you so brazenly stamp your feet on.
I'm done!

I move away from the door, slamming it behind me with such force it
nearly comes out the other side of the frame.
You finally turn towards me. You finally acknowledge me!
You finally cry for me!
But I don't care now!
All you've stood for is meaningless!
Everything you've said emptiness!
& you, you are now, finally, worthless!
Does it feel good?
Do you like it?
May I offer you some salt for your open wounds?
You can have it, I don't need it anymore!
Take it! Take it! Take it!!!