I AM A GODDESS!!

ORIGINALLY POSTED AT MY PINK POSSE BLOG ON OR NEAR
Sat, Sep 25, 2010 at 2:00 AM

Wow, what a show!!! I regret to say, that with all that's been going
on, I haven't exactly filled you all in about ELIAS yet, so I shall do
that next! However, this must be written, NOW! Right this minute,
while it's still with me!
I went to see ED Kowalczyk this evening! Former lead singer of the
band Live & a great one I might add! It was amazing!!! Absolutely
AMAZING! The show itself was great, he played "Dolphins Cry, Heaven,
All Over You, Lightning Crashes, I Alone, The Distance, Grace *from
his solo album*, & Dance With You". He played tons more new songs, but
I honestly don't remember their titles.
Anyway, like I said, the show itself was great! Everyone was swaying &
dancing, clapping & singing! Usually at a 'rock show', everyone's
humping everyone else, spilling beer on each other, smoking 'Juana, &
generally acting crazy. Lol. I mean, there's a place for that, I love
it! There's something very primal about being humped, but that's a
whole other story! Lol.
What really got me though, was "Dance With You". The night had been
great, Dad even stood in the pit with me, so that tells you how
subdued it really was! He only went to sit down when he absolutely
couldn't stand anymore, & when we left he said: "It was good, I like
him!" Lol! Ok people, my Father doesn't usually say that!! But Ed was
singing "Dance With You" & he had opened the door when he waded into
"Heaven" by dedicating it to all of us mothers, daughters, ladies. .
., but the flood gates came pouring in with "Dance With You".
He's singing & I'm standing there thinking:
"I'm a Goddess!! I'm a woman! I can give life & exude love & power &
greatness!" In my Dad's words, "I'm the coolest!".
Lol. Normally, your mother helps you to find yourself. You look up to
her, even if the two of you struggle when your growing up, you come
into your womanhood with her as a mentor. However, in my case, & in
alot of cases, women don't have that relationship with their mothers,
& I started seeking another 'mother' to mentor me. So I found it
completely shocking that a man brought me to that last step. I'd been
working my way towards it with Amy *Mamamorphosis*, & I've always
known there was 'something' about Ed's lyrics that I couldn't quite
put my finger on, but it turned out to be a man that brought me to my
realization instead of a woman. I found that quite shocking, but in a
good way.
I walked out of there feeling 'awesome!!!'. He stretched the song out
for 5 minutes or so just repeating & having us echo him.
"I wanna dance with you, I wanna dance with you. . ." & I'm actually
looking for a dance partner! Lol. I 'don't do' that! But I was this
evening, though I didn't find anyone. But it was great!!! He was
telling us how he's partnered with World Vision to help bring clean
water to kids in Africa, *he said: "It's my job to bring a glass of
water to my 6 & 8 year old daughters' bedrooms every night when I'm
home."* & he was thinking about how he took it for granted that he
could do that for them when people in other countries can't do that,
or if they can, they aren't sure that they should, because said water
could be dirty & unsafe to drink. So he wanted to do something about
it & partnered with World Vision on this tour to do just that. So I
was already thinking: "What an amazing man!"
I'm a humanitarian through & through as I said, so the fact that he's
doing something I will do someday was inspiring & then he ended with
"Dance With You" & I just went crazy, but in the best way possible! I
swear, I was flying, or at least my heart was. My heart has wings
now!!!!! Woohoo!!!
So this is me!
I am a Goddess! A beautiful, talented, exquisite Goddess, who can give
life! Who has power & strength & love pouring out of every cell & I
love it! I love me!!

Too Much To Say

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON MY PINK POSSE BLOG ON OR NEAR
Wed, Jun 23, 2010 at 2:27 AM

Hello all,
I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to be buried in emails for
the rest of my life, so no point in trying to fix it! Lol. If I do,
I'll never get back to what I love doing, being at PP & that would be
truly crushing!
I have 2172 emails in my inbox, another 2000 in my media folder, &
over 1000 in my trash folder!
Anyway, there are so many things to touch on & not enough time.
It was super hot yesterday afternoon, so all I did was sleep. However,
I've been trying to get back on track, going to bed at a decent hour,
or decent for me, so 1-2AM, & up by 10 or so. I really fell off
everything as I said before when I lost my computer. I had nothing to
do all day long & nothing to do all night long either, so I slept like
a cat or dog sleeps! Lol. Now I'm trying to fix that.
I've also noticed that I seem to be extremely emotional lately. Just
reading lyrics from a sad song online will make me cry, versus hearing
it, which is normally what gets me. I'm not in the mood for ice cream,
probably a good thing, so I'm shocked by that fact! Lol. I've been
drinking two glasses of water a day, sometimes more, which is also a
good thing, because I was fighting it for a long time.
On another note entirely, I promise to get to my favorite story of
all, NONPOINT!! soon, possibly later today even. I'm dying to tell, as
I said though, I've just been buried lately!
I also have a friend to reply to, haven't talked to her in months
either, darned computer problems! Lol. I saw Fuel in concert as well,
the Friday before I saw NONPOINT, so have to dish on them a bit to.
Finally the 3 & a half days blog post & why is sexuality taboo
discussion have left me with several things to say, which I've also
been putting off. Also been listening to alot of NIRVANA lately, thank
the Lord for the ability to download files!!!, & have a number of
thoughts rolling around on that matter as well.
I need to get back to my morning pages & coating myself in lotion
after showers! I felt good when I was doing that.
In other minutia of my life, I started pulling at my nails again, but
have stopped for about 4-5 days now. I'm hoping to be able to go all
out beautiful the next time NP comes to town, which will be in the
fall! That sounds cliched, but it isn't all about that. I hurt my hip
at the SEETHER concert & I call it the Concert That Keeps On Giving,
because it still hurts! Lol. I'm pretty sure it's because of my weight
though, & not nearly as much to do with the concert itself. So I want
to lose the weight. I just need motivation, from people who are in my
backyard so to speak. Preferably living next door, & that's not
happening as I have no next door friends. Even Holly is a half hour
away & half of her summer will be spent with her boyfriend in Texas.
So I'm on my own! (cry)! Lol.
Finally, I haven't given up on my book & wish I could find some people
to read it over & revise it, as is. By that I mean, no title, no
chapters, just one big 58 page document in word. I don't have the know
how to make it pretty first. I want it "fixed" as it were for two
reasons.
1. I want to be able to look at it & say: "Ok, I wrote about this &
this & this. So I need to write about that & that & the other thing."
Secondly, if I can ever shop it around to a publisher, or even
self-publish it, I want to know I have something to shop around, as
most people in the book world are like those in the rest of the work
world & insist on conformance with their rules & regs.
Probably why I'll never end up in an office job. I wear band tees &
shorts in the summer & band tees & comfortable pants in the winter, &
if you don't like it, that's to bad!
Yes, I rebel, just not in the usual ways.
Anyway, hope everyone gets/is getting a good night's sleep!
Chelle