Wednesday, November 20, 2013


It's amazing how much power I've allowed you to have over me these
past 9 years. Hard to believe it's been that long actually.
And truth be told, you had power before that. . . however, I draw my
line in the sand there, because I was a child and didn't get it.
You have no filters, never think before you speak. It's as if whatever
pops into your head, you just blurt it out.
"It's depressing talking about your friend. It's much more fun playing
with Cricket."
And what I heard was:
"I don't care about this part of your life. I don't accept it."
Since when? My friends, online or off, are part of my life and if
something effects them it effects me. It effects me in the sense that
I feel for them and I'm thinking about them and so, I talk to my
"family" about them/their issue(s) like any person would.
And you're words say: "Stop! Reject! Move on!"
The drinking and smoking bothered the fuck out of me. . . why? because
it's not healthy and you're my bio mother and I was hoping you'd take
care of yourself.
But what I must focus on is me!
Give me my book back since you'll never read all of it anyway.
Here's your gov't phone back, I can text and walk, I don't need it!
Here's your bath towel and 2 hand towels back, I don't need them either!
In fact, take back the towels you bought me and everything you gave me!
Take back your genes and your words and deeds, take them back because
they aren't mine!
I am not you!
I will not be you!
I don't need you!
I am standing on my own 2 feet! Perhaps unsteadily as a toddler is
want to do, but I am there!
Take back everything, because I don't need you!
In fact, I don't want you!
Yes, I wish for a Woman to mother me, who is kind and loving and
caring, who will nurture me and tell me things will be alright. . .
that it's okay to stumble and fall and have success spit up backwards
on me (failure), but it's not you!
It never was you!
You're a toxic dump and I've been soaking it in!
Why? Because I "loved" you. . . well, no more!
I. am. done! And this time, I will walk away and never look back!
It will hurt as it's been hurting, but it will hurt and damage me much
more to stay!
Kimberly Kay Bennette

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