Another old email, tells about my Desire to meet SHAUN and how it played out!
Written Monday 4/16/2012
As for the concert, I had been doing that "I will meet SHAUN MORGAN
Saturday 4/14!" affirmation. . . well I made it to the 1,000 mark,
which as I may have mentioned to you before, I heard through
MindMovies.com is how long it takes to START believing something. It
takes that many times saying an affirmation, any affirmation, for a
person's brain to actually start believing it. On Saturday I didn't
meet SHAUN, CRY!!!! however, Friendis and I were walking the halls of Joe
Louis arena seeking wristbands to get out onto the main floor and this
guy walks up and says: "Hey, wanna meet and greet with Nickelback?
We got an extra one!" Now, I'm not the biggest Nickelback fan and in
fact, the more songs they write about alcohol the less of a fan I am,
but on the other hand I thought "Well what the hell?" So we said sure.
So we got a meet and greet. All we did was say hi and get our picture
taken with the band. There was no giving out of signed memoribilia, no
time to even fake some great awakening in my life to thank the band
for, or time to whisper something about I've met SHAUN before and
since their on tour together could they rig it so I could. Lol.
Seriously, the plan would have been to play it up like they were the
greatest band ever, then just throw it in there as a casual
afterthought. Either way, I had no time to even consider or reconsider
my options since it was so quick. I have to say it didn't change my
impression of them at all. Well, unless you count the fact we left and
RAN towards the main floor SHAUN was in the middle of "FINE AGAIN" and
all you would have heard if you'd been there was some VERY 'unlady
like' language coming out of my mouth! Goddammit! Motherfucker!
Cocksucker!!!!!!! I new it!!!!!!!! I NEW I heard "GASOLINE" while we were waiting in line! Friendis just laughed and said: "Well okay then! Tell me
how you feel!"
Lol. After the show she said: "Friendis, I think the Universe got it's
signals crossed. Maybe you need to put more emphasis on SHAUN FUCKING
MORGAN FROM SEETHER!!! next time." Lol. I said: "Well, on the upside,
it proves affirmations work on SOME level. And besides, thinking about
molesting him did make it ALOT easier for me to finish my workouts!"
So meeting Nickelback wasn't a big deal for me, but I've been trying
to figure out how to inform the Universe of that without giving off
the signal that I'm completely ungreatful. The best way to some it up
I guess is that I'm Greatful the affirmation got me through my
workout, and I've carried on with my other ones. In fact I hit the
1,000 mark with both "I lose weight easily and effortlessly!" and "I
love working out!" today.
I also discovered yesterday morning that I'm down from 211 pounds to
203 pounds, so that encouraged me to keep up with the affirmations to,
plus choose my food choices carefully. I'm not as worried about
portions *for fruits and most veggies* for example, but I am more
careful with carbs. I found out the mac and cheese I love so much is
300 calories a cup so I only took a third of a cup the other day. I'm
also careful with my consumption of corn though I adore it! On top of
that I was even more proud of my progress considering Easter just
passed and I also just finished a box of apple cinamon chereos! I
didn't eat them all in one sitting, but because I'd already been
holding onto them for months and didn't want them to go bad I did eat
a few big bowls to get them gone before they expired on me. So all in
all I'd say I'm doing pretty darn good!!
I'm still reading like crazy about animals, REAL CSI techniques and
not the 'fake' stuff in the TV shows, and I've been keeping a list of
authors I like that I have received from books on tape so I can call
them up and ask for more of those authors.
Speaking of reading, one of the books I read is by Temple Grandin,
she's part of a group that helps to better practices for animals. All
animals though, from farm animals to wild animals to cats and dogs.
That's the supershort explanation. She's autistic and in her 60's now
and is also a professor in Colo.
Anyway, she was explaining about the different emotional systems in
animals, one of them being fear, another being rage. She said that
when an animal is held down it causes a feeling of fear which can
morph into a feeling of rage. This doesn't matter whether their held
down physically to receive a shot or mentally by having been
conditioned in a certain way for so long that they don't believe they
can ever get out of their present situation. You may see where this is
going. . .
It got me thinking about my rage in not an entirely different light,
but in a different light. I may have said things about my rage before,
but at the moment she said that, I started thinking that if I had a
more fulfilling life, being able to volunteer like I Desire to, doing
what I DESIRE to do, not what some one else tells me they think I'm
qualified to do/should do, than my approach to fighting parents and/or
children would most likely be a different one. My inclination is to
lash out because I feel a complete lack of control MOST of the time
over my life and any external forces that enter it. And in fact, the
fact that I'm able to control my rage at all only proves that I'm
'managing' just bearly and most likely doing so because my prefrontal
cortex has grown up and become fully developed *as it does by the time
your in your 20's* which has kept me from doing anything stupid.
Anyway, on that note, Dad informed me Friday night that SEETHER will be
the last concert in Detroit I see unless I find someone else to take
me. I handled it with grace I thought, but now I'm thinking I MUST
find someone to take me to Detroit BEFORE the Cranberries and Garbage
announce tourdates in our area, otherwise I'm royally screwed!!!! Dad
says when Friendis gets her license I can ride down with her *during the
day since she can drive during the day* and we can get a hotel close
to where ever the concert is, park her car there, walk to the concert
and then back to the hotel and she can drive us home the next day.
This of course ups the total cost of my concert to probably well over
$200, since no hotel room is cheap! Plus there'd be gas and the second
ticket if Friendis couldn't afford to buy her own. He says alternatively I
can ask B, but her personality IS NOT conducive to going in the
moshpit!
I went with SH to the 99% training yesterday and she loves rock
music, especially SEETHER! However, the downside is she hasn't been to
a concert in forever because she can't afford it, so I'm not sure how
she'd take to me begging her to go and promising I'd cover the cost of
everything. She's older and wiser, think she's in her 50's now, and
because she already knows so much about me *since I told her* she'd
probably reject this idea on principle alone because she knows my
money issues.
Friendis says to relax, but you know me, and I AM NOT relaxing! It's more
like I'm in low panic mode, haven't started pulling my hair out yet or
banging my head against brick walls, but should I find that either of
the aforementioned bands is coming to Detroit anytime soon, or that
any other band I LOVE is coming soon I will most likely start ripping
my hair out and pounding my head relentlessly against brick walls!
On top of that the Machine Shop isn't a viable option. They haven't
had a show I've REALLY Desired to see in months, which is why I
haven't been to a concert in months!
Being that my money is going for mail and the like lately, I'm ONLY
spending my money WHERE I HAVE to spend it, or where I REALLY REALLY
REALLY Desire something! So if it's a toss up between P.O.D and
Halestorm at the Machine Shop or SEETHER and Bush at the Joe Louis,
I'm going for SEETHER as I just did.
Anyway, I forgot that my newest affirmation is "I open my heart to
love!" just started that one today and got up to 100 before I ended my
workout.
I'm trying to settle on ones for fear, transportation and getting what
I Desire next. Or maybe fear of not getting what I Desire and Desire
go together somehow. . . Still thinking on that one. Because that's
what all this is predicated on. I'm afraid of living to be 55 and not
accomplishing ANYTHING worthwhile, not having a Baby, not having a
partner, not having transportation to concerts, not having a place to
volunteer at and transportation to and from that place, living with my
Dad forever, etc etc etc. So there's alot of fear there and that's
when I came to the conclusion I'd much rather die then live up to that
point only to find out I didn't do a bloody thing! In fact, I'd rather
die then EVEN ENTERTAIN this possibility of NOT achieving!
Friendis and I stayed up almost all night Saturday discussing it.
I went looking in my middle sized suitcase *I brought that one because
my big one is under a couple boxes and I new I'd be going with SH so
I didn't want to carry anything I didn't absolutely need with me and
that included lugging around a giant suitcase. So I stuck with the
middle one. So I'm digging in there to make sure I have my facepads,
soap, shampoo, lotion, toothpaste/toothbrush/mouthwash and I come
across a bottle with two Tylenol 3 pills in it. I told Friendis, when I
found that bottle my stomach got butterflies. It was like I was going
to meet ELI or something. That had never happened before and the smart
part of my brain thought: "Well, this is a new and concerning
development. . ." while the other half thought: "Great! They aren't
all gone and I can get even happier tonight!" Then I settled on the
idea that I would only take them IF I came out of the show in pain. Of course,
wouldn't you know, I did come out of the show in pain. Of course I did
because I stood on my feet for like 4 hours straight cuz we were on
the main floor! Needless to say I took them and then thought: "Good,
their gone. I don't have to think about them now." Fine thought for
two pills, but what if there had been 6 or 8?
So after we got back to her place we got to talking about it and she
was telling me how because she's struggled with alcohol and because
I've always been the 'smart one' the one who fights against pills and
alcohol and street drugs she didn't ever want to see me fall like
that. She says I already struggle enough and she'd hate to see me
struggle anymore with anything else. I know she's right and at the
moment I know it doesn't matter because I have no pills and no alcohol
and don't plan on spending money on either anytime soon! I've only
taken what's there. However, I also know that I feel just about as
rebelious as a person can feel and feel about 99% confident that if it
were offered, whatever IT might be, I'd probably 'try' it. I think the
only way I wouldn't would be, interestingly enough, if I were around
someone like SHAUN, because I know he struggles with it and I would
want to be the 'stand-up' person in that situation, the one example of
clenliness he probably would have around since most guys are doing
something these days.
That of course lead us into talking about destructive behaviors in
general and why, even when we're trying to improve our lives, we still
find ourselves walking SUPER tightropes. I told her, it's like those
bridges that they make for kids to play on at the park, you walk
across them, but others come and start bouncing on them while you're
walking across holding the rails and the whole bridge starts to shake
and rock back and forth causing you to become off balance. If you don't
hold onto the rails you could get hurt. Not really since they have
rails on them, but it's a perfect metaphor for life. Yes I'm a good
person, and I have some Great qualities, but I'm also very rebelious,
and the older I get the more rebelious I find myself being instead of
'less'.
I know what's good for me and what's not, but I still want to try
things that aren't, even things I know could hurt or even kill me. I
guess I'm like my mother in that way. NEVER thought I'd find myself
writing that, but she played at being a grown-up for a longtime and
then finally gave it up for partying instead. Dad's mellowed with age,
but he had his fun when he was young. My mother moved out of my
grandmother's house and into my Dads a week after she turned 17. They
got married in 1980, had me in 86 though they'd been trying since day
1 and B in 91. She managed the facade, though she did party often,
for quite a while, then even gave up partying and smoking for 8 years
or so and then went back when I turned 18.
It's another of those things for me though. I know what's what, I just
don't care. I know the score, I know I'd be playing with fire, I just
don't care about that, just like I don't care that I'd hurt my family
if I weren't here. I'd been trying to avoid saying that, kept trying
to figure out another word to describe what I think and how I feel,
but it's time for me to call a spade a spade and that's what this is.
I just don't care. Do I care at SOME level? Most likely, but it's the
same level that I care about killing someone if I get into a fight
with them. I don't WANT to kill them, but that realization wouldn't be
enough to stop me without someone pulling me off. If noone was there
to pull me off the person would be dead and then I'd start thinking:
"Oh shit! What did I just do? Why did I do that? I didn't want to kill
them! I just wanted them to suffer a little, I wanted them to stop
coming at me! That's all!" But when your dead you don't have those
thoughts, but if you could have those thoughts that's what I'd be
thinking afterward.
On an entirely different note, I mentioned SH, she's going to look
into getting transportation for me, she knows the daughter of the Your
Ride head and said she'd try to talk to him herself and explain my
situation to him. She's also talking to the others at the Disability
Network to see if they can't help me get a volunteer position with
babies or animals, maybe both if I play my cards right! That'd be
awesome, then I could probably be busy 3 or 4 days a week, maybe 5!
I think that's it for now.
Showing posts with label affirmations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label affirmations. Show all posts
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Updates on Affirmations, Turmoil
Letters from a couple days ago about my Affirmations and yes, my BFF.
I'm up to 3,000 on my "I'm ready to confront my fears!" affirmation.
Believe it or not I was actually so desperate to say it more I was
chomping at the bit this weekend and the minute they left Saturday
night to go to the movies I jumped on the treadmill and bike! I didn't
know they were going, they didn't tell me just left, so I didn't even
know how long they'd be gone. Then Sunday morning they went to church
and I did the same thing again. I usually alternate and do a different
affirmation each day, well, one affirmation every couple of days and
than alternate. So one day it's confronting my fear and the next it
would usually be "I open my heart to love!" or another one I like, but
as I said, really wanted to kick this one so I went at it both days.
Funnily enough, I wanted it so bad I contemplated dragging the
treadmill and bike into my room if they didn't leave the house! Lol!
You know how I was about working out before! Def not the same person!!
Lol.
I'm soooo proud of myself, I fucking rock!!!!
Monday it was back to "I open my heart to love!" since that was the
other touchy one that made me cry, will probably make me cry more now
as I'm tearing up JUST WRITING IT!!!
Today I did one I'd come up with a while back, "I am beautiful, bold,
and confident!"
I was feeling a bit restless and tried to come up with a few new ones
after you sent me that page but it just wasn't working.
I feel like there's more there, but I'm not sure at the moment how
long it'll take for me to get back there.
I'm trying hard to write an upbeat letter, but they just played
Sevendust's "Driven" and I'm feeling pretty emotional.
I clicked on contacts to write you and saw Her cell phone and
email. Part of me just wants to delete them from my computer so I
won't see them.
I know people here don't get it, but for me this is like a break up.
Like she said, we were more than friends and less than lovers, that
stupid undefined, nondescript gray area and I hate that!
I hate that I had no boundaries with her and now wish I had, wish I
did, wish this didn't hurt!!! And I wonder why I did it again, held
out so long.
I always swore I wouldn't be a doormat for anyone, but I was for my
mother and I was for her. You think that makes me a possible doormat
for someone else??
Anyway, at least I worked out this morning and did my affirmations and
when this happened with her I at least THOUGHT about working out again
instead of eating. The thought is what counts, right? Smile.
Talk later!!!
And thank you for letting me be a big baby about this. Ok, I'm not a
baby, but I feel like one.
------------------
I used breakup, but truthfully, it is closer to a death for me to. I
feel like people think I'm dramatizing though, you know?
I know you were right the other night though, things are picking up,
things are shifting for both of us and we'll come out on top!! I
suppose it's like the one door closes and another opens. I didn't used
to 'buy' into that, but I can see now how I did allow Her to hold me
back. Only, I didn't logically think: "I won't have any friends but
Her!" but perhaps that's the vibe I've been giving off for years
without realizing it. I'm just speculating, it's been up and down
today, but when I did my workout this evening I started with my "I am
beautiful, bold and confident!" statement, but I just wasn't feeling
it. I kept walking and thinking and "I have an abundance of friends!"
is what came to me. I DEFINITELY didn't expect it to come that fast.
Yesterday it was like my world has ended, my life is over,
everything's falling apart and what's wrong with me??? Why am I such a
failure? Whereas today it was a bit of that this morning, the
afternoon got a bit better and when I worked out this evening it was
the best I've felt all day.
I don't know if any of us has the answer, but I do wonder why we do
that to ourselves. What I mean is why is it the first thing we think
is what's wrong with me? Especially if it wasn't us and we didn't make
the call on the relationship. It's a curious thing to me.
I did cry some and I watched the movie 2012 with audio video
description. I found it pretty interesting and started thinking about
what life will be like later this year. I don't believe it's ending,
just that a higher consciousness or more awareness is coming to us. So
in looking at it like that that's how I tried to frame Her and my
friendship. This afternoon right before I started working out it
occured to me that she gave me something in working out. I'm not sure
what, and it took me years to 'catch up' if you will to her, but she
gave me something, some type of push and I acknowledge her for that.
It got me thinking I wonder what else she's given me and if I've
noticed it or not. Probably not if I have to think about it! Lol.
Anyway, I was also thinking if I could find a place to define our
relationship that would help. You know, figure out where the
boundaries are now. To email once a month, visit every 6 months or
maybe once a year. There's still part of me that aches when I write
that, but I know if I nailed down boundaries, then checked with her to
see if we could get on the same page again I'd have a foothold and an
idea of where to go next *with us*.
I know I don't have to be a doormat, but I guess my real question is
HAVE I BEEN a doormat? On one hand I feel like I have been, but on the
other hand I figure the question is worth asking someone else because
I'm on the inside and there's a big possibility I'm viewing things
through the wrong lens. So if I'm right and I have been a doormat then
I know the next step is to identify when I start repeating those
behaviors and patterns in another relationship again so I can halt
them quickly. If I haven't been then I have nothing to worry about and
can stop questing about for an answer. Or, at least that's what I'm
thinking! Lol.
--------------------
Well that's what I've been doing. I suppose the upside to any
emotional roller coaster is that every time something happens you come
better equipped than you were the last time it happened. I honestly
don't begrudge it at the moment. We'll see if it pops back up, but
that's where I'm at for now.
I kind of have to laugh here. . . you know it's bad when you think: "I
didn't set boundaries" and then after reading what you wrote about
being a doormat I hear Her own words in my head that I've been a
much better friend to her then she ever was to me. Thank you. . .
between the two of you and my own recollection of boundary setting I
have the answer.
Talk tomorrow.
I'm up to 3,000 on my "I'm ready to confront my fears!" affirmation.
Believe it or not I was actually so desperate to say it more I was
chomping at the bit this weekend and the minute they left Saturday
night to go to the movies I jumped on the treadmill and bike! I didn't
know they were going, they didn't tell me just left, so I didn't even
know how long they'd be gone. Then Sunday morning they went to church
and I did the same thing again. I usually alternate and do a different
affirmation each day, well, one affirmation every couple of days and
than alternate. So one day it's confronting my fear and the next it
would usually be "I open my heart to love!" or another one I like, but
as I said, really wanted to kick this one so I went at it both days.
Funnily enough, I wanted it so bad I contemplated dragging the
treadmill and bike into my room if they didn't leave the house! Lol!
You know how I was about working out before! Def not the same person!!
Lol.
I'm soooo proud of myself, I fucking rock!!!!
Monday it was back to "I open my heart to love!" since that was the
other touchy one that made me cry, will probably make me cry more now
as I'm tearing up JUST WRITING IT!!!
Today I did one I'd come up with a while back, "I am beautiful, bold,
and confident!"
I was feeling a bit restless and tried to come up with a few new ones
after you sent me that page but it just wasn't working.
I feel like there's more there, but I'm not sure at the moment how
long it'll take for me to get back there.
I'm trying hard to write an upbeat letter, but they just played
Sevendust's "Driven" and I'm feeling pretty emotional.
I clicked on contacts to write you and saw Her cell phone and
email. Part of me just wants to delete them from my computer so I
won't see them.
I know people here don't get it, but for me this is like a break up.
Like she said, we were more than friends and less than lovers, that
stupid undefined, nondescript gray area and I hate that!
I hate that I had no boundaries with her and now wish I had, wish I
did, wish this didn't hurt!!! And I wonder why I did it again, held
out so long.
I always swore I wouldn't be a doormat for anyone, but I was for my
mother and I was for her. You think that makes me a possible doormat
for someone else??
Anyway, at least I worked out this morning and did my affirmations and
when this happened with her I at least THOUGHT about working out again
instead of eating. The thought is what counts, right? Smile.
Talk later!!!
And thank you for letting me be a big baby about this. Ok, I'm not a
baby, but I feel like one.
------------------
I used breakup, but truthfully, it is closer to a death for me to. I
feel like people think I'm dramatizing though, you know?
I know you were right the other night though, things are picking up,
things are shifting for both of us and we'll come out on top!! I
suppose it's like the one door closes and another opens. I didn't used
to 'buy' into that, but I can see now how I did allow Her to hold me
back. Only, I didn't logically think: "I won't have any friends but
Her!" but perhaps that's the vibe I've been giving off for years
without realizing it. I'm just speculating, it's been up and down
today, but when I did my workout this evening I started with my "I am
beautiful, bold and confident!" statement, but I just wasn't feeling
it. I kept walking and thinking and "I have an abundance of friends!"
is what came to me. I DEFINITELY didn't expect it to come that fast.
Yesterday it was like my world has ended, my life is over,
everything's falling apart and what's wrong with me??? Why am I such a
failure? Whereas today it was a bit of that this morning, the
afternoon got a bit better and when I worked out this evening it was
the best I've felt all day.
I don't know if any of us has the answer, but I do wonder why we do
that to ourselves. What I mean is why is it the first thing we think
is what's wrong with me? Especially if it wasn't us and we didn't make
the call on the relationship. It's a curious thing to me.
I did cry some and I watched the movie 2012 with audio video
description. I found it pretty interesting and started thinking about
what life will be like later this year. I don't believe it's ending,
just that a higher consciousness or more awareness is coming to us. So
in looking at it like that that's how I tried to frame Her and my
friendship. This afternoon right before I started working out it
occured to me that she gave me something in working out. I'm not sure
what, and it took me years to 'catch up' if you will to her, but she
gave me something, some type of push and I acknowledge her for that.
It got me thinking I wonder what else she's given me and if I've
noticed it or not. Probably not if I have to think about it! Lol.
Anyway, I was also thinking if I could find a place to define our
relationship that would help. You know, figure out where the
boundaries are now. To email once a month, visit every 6 months or
maybe once a year. There's still part of me that aches when I write
that, but I know if I nailed down boundaries, then checked with her to
see if we could get on the same page again I'd have a foothold and an
idea of where to go next *with us*.
I know I don't have to be a doormat, but I guess my real question is
HAVE I BEEN a doormat? On one hand I feel like I have been, but on the
other hand I figure the question is worth asking someone else because
I'm on the inside and there's a big possibility I'm viewing things
through the wrong lens. So if I'm right and I have been a doormat then
I know the next step is to identify when I start repeating those
behaviors and patterns in another relationship again so I can halt
them quickly. If I haven't been then I have nothing to worry about and
can stop questing about for an answer. Or, at least that's what I'm
thinking! Lol.
--------------------
Well that's what I've been doing. I suppose the upside to any
emotional roller coaster is that every time something happens you come
better equipped than you were the last time it happened. I honestly
don't begrudge it at the moment. We'll see if it pops back up, but
that's where I'm at for now.
I kind of have to laugh here. . . you know it's bad when you think: "I
didn't set boundaries" and then after reading what you wrote about
being a doormat I hear Her own words in my head that I've been a
much better friend to her then she ever was to me. Thank you. . .
between the two of you and my own recollection of boundary setting I
have the answer.
Talk tomorrow.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Brags and Affirmations!
I'm baaaack!! Smile.
I said I had some Bragging to do, so here she be!!
I Brag that I've made it to at least 1,000 with all my Affirmations!!!
Thus far they are:
"I love working out!"
"I lose weight easily and effortlessly!"
"I open my heart to love!"
"I will meet SHAUN MORGAN Saturday 4/14!"
And today's,
"I'm ready to confront my fears!"
Why 1,000 at least?
Because I participated in an online workshop where the Woman who ran it
over at
http://www.mindmovies.com/
Natalie said that it takes the brain 1,000 times of repetition in order for it to start believing what you're telling it.
There's a looong ass story about alpha brainwaves, beta brain waves, delta brain waves, and thaita brainwaves, but without going into all that, this is the short of it.
Now, the flip side is that you can meditate like CRAZY, but meditation and I get along about as well as routine and I get along, so I have opted for this latter, though probably 'more difficult' way of doing things.
It isn't difficult for me though, because I say my Affirmations while working out on the treadmill or bike, and it helps keep me motivated.
I count off in increments of 10 until I get to 100, then 200, 300 and so forth. When I get to 1,000 I get all excited and jump up and down and congratulate myself.
While doing all this I'm so busy my brain has ALOT less time to think: "I wonder what time it is? Can I be done with this damn workout yet!!!??? I could check the clock just once to see what time it is. It won't hurt me. . ." Of course, when I do check the clock my brain goes into overdrive thinking: "Seriously? You've got to be kidding me! WTF is this???!!!"
Or rather, it did do that for a time. Now I actually find it is EASIER to workout. I wouldn't say I'm enthusiastic every day, but it's easier than when we first got the treadmill and the bike and I got on and said: "I fucking hate this! I fucking hate this! This is bullshit! I ought to be able to say 'drop the weight! and poof it's gone!"
So I say this is a much better alternative indeed! Lol.
I actually finished my confronting fear Affirmation before my workout was done so I went back to losing weight effortlessly.
I stopped at 1,100.
So in other words, I was at 1,000, then went back to it this evening when I was done with my fear Affirmation and got in another 100 repeats to finish out my workout.
I Brag I've attended my second protest last week on tax day, 4/17 for anyone living under a rock! Lol.
It was a tax the 1% rally in Flint, though there was only a handful of people in attendence. It definitely wasn't like anything going on in NYC or D.C, but I did have fun!
I Brag I smiled at people as they drove by!
My policy, to be cheerful and friendly when interacting with the public/those who are like me!
I Brag a friend of mine filled out an application for me to start receiving transportation from MTA in Flint and she also put me in touch with another Woman who may be able to help me get transportation into Saginaw!
This is Great because then I'll have access to animal shelters and daycare centers where I can volunteer, plus if rallies are being held I'll have access to them as well!!
All in all it works out fabulously!!
I Brag that when I went to the doc today and found out I'd gained 3 pounds back, I was 203 last week and am at 206 this week, I automatically turned it! I may be 206, but I am not 214! That's where I was when I started. I'm inclined to think my highest weight of all was 220/223, but I'd need my medical records to confirm. My lowest was 197 and that was a year or two ago.
I Desire to get to 197 and then beyond!!
I Desire to keep on with Finer Minds and MindMovies for as long as they prove helpful!
I Desire to confront my fears as I stated earlier, to keep an open heart and welcome love and be a channel for love to flow freely!
I Desire to meet SHAUN MORGAN from SEETHER the next time he comes through MI!!!!!
I Desire to get my period back monthly!!
I Desire to live a pill free life unless they are absolutely necessary to my survival!
I'm Greatful to Natalie, SH, K, Holl, Dad, The Great Pussy in the Sky, the Universe, Mother/Father God, SHAUN, LIV, Cap. Cragen, and the list goes on!
I'm Greatful for their love, bravery *in the case of SVU*, help/support, funny antics, for the laughter they provide and the rage certain people on this list fill me with at times, for it gives me plenty of chances to learn how to deal constructively and overcome my current limits.
I said I had some Bragging to do, so here she be!!
I Brag that I've made it to at least 1,000 with all my Affirmations!!!
Thus far they are:
"I love working out!"
"I lose weight easily and effortlessly!"
"I open my heart to love!"
"I will meet SHAUN MORGAN Saturday 4/14!"
And today's,
"I'm ready to confront my fears!"
Why 1,000 at least?
Because I participated in an online workshop where the Woman who ran it
over at
http://www.mindmovies.com/
Natalie said that it takes the brain 1,000 times of repetition in order for it to start believing what you're telling it.
There's a looong ass story about alpha brainwaves, beta brain waves, delta brain waves, and thaita brainwaves, but without going into all that, this is the short of it.
Now, the flip side is that you can meditate like CRAZY, but meditation and I get along about as well as routine and I get along, so I have opted for this latter, though probably 'more difficult' way of doing things.
It isn't difficult for me though, because I say my Affirmations while working out on the treadmill or bike, and it helps keep me motivated.
I count off in increments of 10 until I get to 100, then 200, 300 and so forth. When I get to 1,000 I get all excited and jump up and down and congratulate myself.
While doing all this I'm so busy my brain has ALOT less time to think: "I wonder what time it is? Can I be done with this damn workout yet!!!??? I could check the clock just once to see what time it is. It won't hurt me. . ." Of course, when I do check the clock my brain goes into overdrive thinking: "Seriously? You've got to be kidding me! WTF is this???!!!"
Or rather, it did do that for a time. Now I actually find it is EASIER to workout. I wouldn't say I'm enthusiastic every day, but it's easier than when we first got the treadmill and the bike and I got on and said: "I fucking hate this! I fucking hate this! This is bullshit! I ought to be able to say 'drop the weight! and poof it's gone!"
So I say this is a much better alternative indeed! Lol.
I actually finished my confronting fear Affirmation before my workout was done so I went back to losing weight effortlessly.
I stopped at 1,100.
So in other words, I was at 1,000, then went back to it this evening when I was done with my fear Affirmation and got in another 100 repeats to finish out my workout.
I Brag I've attended my second protest last week on tax day, 4/17 for anyone living under a rock! Lol.
It was a tax the 1% rally in Flint, though there was only a handful of people in attendence. It definitely wasn't like anything going on in NYC or D.C, but I did have fun!
I Brag I smiled at people as they drove by!
My policy, to be cheerful and friendly when interacting with the public/those who are like me!
I Brag a friend of mine filled out an application for me to start receiving transportation from MTA in Flint and she also put me in touch with another Woman who may be able to help me get transportation into Saginaw!
This is Great because then I'll have access to animal shelters and daycare centers where I can volunteer, plus if rallies are being held I'll have access to them as well!!
All in all it works out fabulously!!
I Brag that when I went to the doc today and found out I'd gained 3 pounds back, I was 203 last week and am at 206 this week, I automatically turned it! I may be 206, but I am not 214! That's where I was when I started. I'm inclined to think my highest weight of all was 220/223, but I'd need my medical records to confirm. My lowest was 197 and that was a year or two ago.
I Desire to get to 197 and then beyond!!
I Desire to keep on with Finer Minds and MindMovies for as long as they prove helpful!
I Desire to confront my fears as I stated earlier, to keep an open heart and welcome love and be a channel for love to flow freely!
I Desire to meet SHAUN MORGAN from SEETHER the next time he comes through MI!!!!!
I Desire to get my period back monthly!!
I Desire to live a pill free life unless they are absolutely necessary to my survival!
I'm Greatful to Natalie, SH, K, Holl, Dad, The Great Pussy in the Sky, the Universe, Mother/Father God, SHAUN, LIV, Cap. Cragen, and the list goes on!
I'm Greatful for their love, bravery *in the case of SVU*, help/support, funny antics, for the laughter they provide and the rage certain people on this list fill me with at times, for it gives me plenty of chances to learn how to deal constructively and overcome my current limits.
An Old Letter Tracking My Progress
I noticed something this week since I've been making changes to my news habits.
A while back you and I discussed the habit we all or almost all share
of allowing ourselves to feel victimized, to play the role of the
victim etc. I noticed after a couple weeks of reading editorials from
Mother Jones and Think Progress among others, that not only do we do
it to ourselves, but if your mind is already set up/has been trained
to think that way, then reading this stuff doesn't help. For someone
who is completely objective it might work, they might be able to read
things without developing feelings about them, but I in my fragile
state of leaving victimhood seem to be super uncoordinated at it at
the moment.
What I mean is they say it's the 99% against the 1%. I can handle
that, but then all of a sudden it's not just Wallstreet victimizing
us, it's the FDA who refuses to put a ban on BPA even though they know
it leaches off canned goods and into our food. It's the Supreme Court
who may completely overturn Obamacare as their calling it. And so on.
My point is, whether it's good journalism or not, a person like me
starts overturning every rock and thinking: "Whose out to victimize us
next? What stupid idiotic fucked up thing will they come up with
next?"
So, long story short, I was talking to Holl about it tonight. After we
hung up I proceeded to unsubscribe from Mother Jones and Think
Progress. Their still on my Twitter feed but I'm considering just
bookmarking their pages and then unfollowing them. Then I can just go
check out their updates when I feel like it. Holl says it's good that
I'm noticing these things.
Of course, the sneaky part of my brain cautions me against 'avoidance'
as I'm very prone to doing. I avoided my mother until I got the
ovaries to tell her I was done for example. At the moment though I
think I'm on the right track.
As for my working out instead of doing 5 minute meditations twice a
day and thinking of how I Desire my life to be for 30 minutes a day
I've decided to do affirmations alone as noone said they were
impossible. It's just that changing the way your brain thinks is
apparently quicker/more effective. At any rate, story holds it takes
saying something approx. 1,000 times before your brain starts
believing it, so I've got two affirmations I've been using for three
days.
"I lose weight easily and effortlessly!"
Let me tell ya, that ones a tongue twister if you get going fast with it! Lol.
And
"I love working out!"
I'm up to 400 times with both of them. I ought to have hit the
thousand mark by the end of the week I figure.
Holl says to make sure I put emphasis on them and don't get to the
point where their something on my calendar that I just 'mark off'.
They must be doing something because I've even gotten back on the bike
and everybody within a 100 mile radius of me knows how I feel about
that bike! Lol.
Finally I was talking to Dad Monday and I realized I was saying
something old and played out. We were in the car and we were talking
about becca and Holly having and driving vehicles. He wanted to know
if Holly would see me more often, I said only if/when she had the
time. At a later time he told me I should ask becca to take me
somewhere when I got bored. But back to the discussion in the car, he
said he wasn't surprised, he new my visits or lack there of with Holly
wouldn't change just because she'd gotten a car. But then he went on
to say how that was why he'd never rely on anyone else, how he'd never
take money from anyone or ask anyone for help, he had God and himself
and that was all he needed and he wouldn't end his life just because
things weren't going his way. What I noticed: My apparent attitude of
Holly and becca moving up in the world and me not was inaccurate. I
was saying it but not feeling it. FOR ONCE I WASN'T FEELING IT! It had
just come out because that's 'WHAT' I'm used to saying. Yikes!
I didn't comment further on the rest of his indictment. It should be
noted here, and I've been intending to write you all week, this was
the same day I was able to mail out my first letters to Congress and
have enough money left over to buy ALL the photos I needed for the
rest of my letters!!! So I mailed out 49 letters and got 195 photos! I
put all the photos in their envelopes and I've got one box of
envelopes sealed and ready to mail out in May when I get my next
check!! I'm crossing my fingers and hoping I can mail out all 195 of
them, but I still need to buy that book with all the mailing addresses
for the rock bands! So we'll see how things go.
Also before I forget, can we discuss getting a donation button up on
my website? I know we semidiscussed it, but I'm not sure what the
difficulty level might be and not sure what the cost is.
I dipped into sweets again this weekend even though Dad is keeping
them in his room for me. I was pissed off that he and rebecca were
going out after the girls left and it was either punching out the
computer again or eating to make the feeling go away so I ate. I was
on my second oatmeal cream pie when I thought: "This doesn't even
taste good. I don't even want it." Of course I ate it and a cupcake
and two honeybuns anyway. Then I got KFC with a chocolate parfette for
dinner. Again Holl says at least I'm noticing these things. She says
noticing is half the battle. What my generous friend DOES NOT say is
that NOT EATING the stuff is the OTHER HALF of the battle! Lol. My
temper seems to have been pretty even since Monday so at least that's
a great sign!! My computer even acted up a bit and I calmly shut it
down and walked away for a bit. I'm not sure how long this will last,
I've controlled my temper before, in fact, if you wanna get technical
I do it all the time by not destroying someone when they say something
that enrages me or when they won't take me somewhere, but
nevertheless, a plus is a plus no matter how long it lasts!!
And last but certainly not least, a report from the government itself
that once and for all proves that I was right about being a part of
some state run agency for blindness or even part of the nfb agencies.
I could be really screwed based on this report *in the way of getting
a job*, but for the moment I'm looking at it in a purely I'M RIGHT
stance and ignoring that part. Lol.
I know this is alot but if you have any thoughts on anything I'll take 'em!!
Talk later tonight!
Press Release:
Report Finds Federal Dollars Used to Segregate and Exploit Workers with
Disabilities
For Immediate Release
04/03/2012
Contact: David Card
202.408.9514 x122
press@ndrn.org
WASHINGTON - In a report released today, the National Disability Rights
Network (NDRN) outlined how federal funding is being used to shuttle people
with disabilities into sheltered workshops and deprive them of meaningful
employment opportunities.
"There is a total disconnect between what governments say they want to
accomplish in terms of employment for people with disabilities and how they
are actually spending taxpayer dollars," said Curt Decker, NDRN executive
director.
The report, Beyond Segregated and Exploited is a follow up to a report
released last year that examined the issue of segregating working people
with disabilities in sheltered workshops and the use of the subminimum wage
to exploit their disability for the financial gain of employers. The new
report is an update on progress to end those practices and move toward a
system that encourages integrated employment options that pay competitive
wages.
This report also provides additional insight into the complex and confusing
system that pumps millions of dollars into sheltered work despite good
national public policy meant to encourage integration and competitive
employment. The report follows money designated to be spent on integrated
employment as it winds its way from the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid
Services (CMS) and the Rehabilitation Services Administration (RSA) to the
states, state agencies, and finally into sheltered workshops.
"Admirably the message we hear from federal agencies is about the importance
of integrated employment," continued Decker. "Yet the majority of the money
allocated for this purpose actually ends up being spent in facilities that
segregate people with disabilities and isolates them from their communities.
"Worse, our investigations over the past year concluded most of these
facilities do not teach marketable skills or prepare workers for any type of
meaningful work outside of the sheltered workshop. Instead, they trap
workers in endless 'training' programs that pay little if anything, leaving
the 'trainee' impoverished."
The report calls for:
* Ending segregated employment and the subminimum wage by restricting
all federal and state money that is spent on employers who segregate
employees with disabilities from the general workforce.
* Strengthening current and create new tax incentives for employers to
hire people with disabilities in integrated workplaces at comparable wages.
* Increasing labor protections and enforcement of existing law.
The report, found at http://www.ndrn.org/, is called Beyond Segregated and
Exploited: Update on the Employment of People with Disabilities and can be
found on-line at:
http://www.napas.org/images/Documents/Resources/Publications/Reports/Beyond_
Segregated_and_Exploited.pdf
# # #
The National Disability Rights Network (NDRN) is the nonprofit membership
organization for the federally mandated Protection and Advocacy (P&A)
Systems and the Client Assistance Programs (CAP) for individuals with
disabilities. Collectively, the Network is the largest provider of legally
based advocacy services to people with disabilities in the United States.
Source:
http://www.napas.org/en/component/content/article/24-hompagestories/261-repo
rt-finds-government-dollars-used-to-segregate-and-exploit-workers-with-disab
ilities.html (Long URL and may appear on more than one line in this
message. Copy and paste the entire URL into your browser)
A while back you and I discussed the habit we all or almost all share
of allowing ourselves to feel victimized, to play the role of the
victim etc. I noticed after a couple weeks of reading editorials from
Mother Jones and Think Progress among others, that not only do we do
it to ourselves, but if your mind is already set up/has been trained
to think that way, then reading this stuff doesn't help. For someone
who is completely objective it might work, they might be able to read
things without developing feelings about them, but I in my fragile
state of leaving victimhood seem to be super uncoordinated at it at
the moment.
What I mean is they say it's the 99% against the 1%. I can handle
that, but then all of a sudden it's not just Wallstreet victimizing
us, it's the FDA who refuses to put a ban on BPA even though they know
it leaches off canned goods and into our food. It's the Supreme Court
who may completely overturn Obamacare as their calling it. And so on.
My point is, whether it's good journalism or not, a person like me
starts overturning every rock and thinking: "Whose out to victimize us
next? What stupid idiotic fucked up thing will they come up with
next?"
So, long story short, I was talking to Holl about it tonight. After we
hung up I proceeded to unsubscribe from Mother Jones and Think
Progress. Their still on my Twitter feed but I'm considering just
bookmarking their pages and then unfollowing them. Then I can just go
check out their updates when I feel like it. Holl says it's good that
I'm noticing these things.
Of course, the sneaky part of my brain cautions me against 'avoidance'
as I'm very prone to doing. I avoided my mother until I got the
ovaries to tell her I was done for example. At the moment though I
think I'm on the right track.
As for my working out instead of doing 5 minute meditations twice a
day and thinking of how I Desire my life to be for 30 minutes a day
I've decided to do affirmations alone as noone said they were
impossible. It's just that changing the way your brain thinks is
apparently quicker/more effective. At any rate, story holds it takes
saying something approx. 1,000 times before your brain starts
believing it, so I've got two affirmations I've been using for three
days.
"I lose weight easily and effortlessly!"
Let me tell ya, that ones a tongue twister if you get going fast with it! Lol.
And
"I love working out!"
I'm up to 400 times with both of them. I ought to have hit the
thousand mark by the end of the week I figure.
Holl says to make sure I put emphasis on them and don't get to the
point where their something on my calendar that I just 'mark off'.
They must be doing something because I've even gotten back on the bike
and everybody within a 100 mile radius of me knows how I feel about
that bike! Lol.
Finally I was talking to Dad Monday and I realized I was saying
something old and played out. We were in the car and we were talking
about becca and Holly having and driving vehicles. He wanted to know
if Holly would see me more often, I said only if/when she had the
time. At a later time he told me I should ask becca to take me
somewhere when I got bored. But back to the discussion in the car, he
said he wasn't surprised, he new my visits or lack there of with Holly
wouldn't change just because she'd gotten a car. But then he went on
to say how that was why he'd never rely on anyone else, how he'd never
take money from anyone or ask anyone for help, he had God and himself
and that was all he needed and he wouldn't end his life just because
things weren't going his way. What I noticed: My apparent attitude of
Holly and becca moving up in the world and me not was inaccurate. I
was saying it but not feeling it. FOR ONCE I WASN'T FEELING IT! It had
just come out because that's 'WHAT' I'm used to saying. Yikes!
I didn't comment further on the rest of his indictment. It should be
noted here, and I've been intending to write you all week, this was
the same day I was able to mail out my first letters to Congress and
have enough money left over to buy ALL the photos I needed for the
rest of my letters!!! So I mailed out 49 letters and got 195 photos! I
put all the photos in their envelopes and I've got one box of
envelopes sealed and ready to mail out in May when I get my next
check!! I'm crossing my fingers and hoping I can mail out all 195 of
them, but I still need to buy that book with all the mailing addresses
for the rock bands! So we'll see how things go.
Also before I forget, can we discuss getting a donation button up on
my website? I know we semidiscussed it, but I'm not sure what the
difficulty level might be and not sure what the cost is.
I dipped into sweets again this weekend even though Dad is keeping
them in his room for me. I was pissed off that he and rebecca were
going out after the girls left and it was either punching out the
computer again or eating to make the feeling go away so I ate. I was
on my second oatmeal cream pie when I thought: "This doesn't even
taste good. I don't even want it." Of course I ate it and a cupcake
and two honeybuns anyway. Then I got KFC with a chocolate parfette for
dinner. Again Holl says at least I'm noticing these things. She says
noticing is half the battle. What my generous friend DOES NOT say is
that NOT EATING the stuff is the OTHER HALF of the battle! Lol. My
temper seems to have been pretty even since Monday so at least that's
a great sign!! My computer even acted up a bit and I calmly shut it
down and walked away for a bit. I'm not sure how long this will last,
I've controlled my temper before, in fact, if you wanna get technical
I do it all the time by not destroying someone when they say something
that enrages me or when they won't take me somewhere, but
nevertheless, a plus is a plus no matter how long it lasts!!
And last but certainly not least, a report from the government itself
that once and for all proves that I was right about being a part of
some state run agency for blindness or even part of the nfb agencies.
I could be really screwed based on this report *in the way of getting
a job*, but for the moment I'm looking at it in a purely I'M RIGHT
stance and ignoring that part. Lol.
I know this is alot but if you have any thoughts on anything I'll take 'em!!
Talk later tonight!
Press Release:
Report Finds Federal Dollars Used to Segregate and Exploit Workers with
Disabilities
For Immediate Release
04/03/2012
Contact: David Card
202.408.9514 x122
press@ndrn.org
WASHINGTON - In a report released today, the National Disability Rights
Network (NDRN) outlined how federal funding is being used to shuttle people
with disabilities into sheltered workshops and deprive them of meaningful
employment opportunities.
"There is a total disconnect between what governments say they want to
accomplish in terms of employment for people with disabilities and how they
are actually spending taxpayer dollars," said Curt Decker, NDRN executive
director.
The report, Beyond Segregated and Exploited is a follow up to a report
released last year that examined the issue of segregating working people
with disabilities in sheltered workshops and the use of the subminimum wage
to exploit their disability for the financial gain of employers. The new
report is an update on progress to end those practices and move toward a
system that encourages integrated employment options that pay competitive
wages.
This report also provides additional insight into the complex and confusing
system that pumps millions of dollars into sheltered work despite good
national public policy meant to encourage integration and competitive
employment. The report follows money designated to be spent on integrated
employment as it winds its way from the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid
Services (CMS) and the Rehabilitation Services Administration (RSA) to the
states, state agencies, and finally into sheltered workshops.
"Admirably the message we hear from federal agencies is about the importance
of integrated employment," continued Decker. "Yet the majority of the money
allocated for this purpose actually ends up being spent in facilities that
segregate people with disabilities and isolates them from their communities.
"Worse, our investigations over the past year concluded most of these
facilities do not teach marketable skills or prepare workers for any type of
meaningful work outside of the sheltered workshop. Instead, they trap
workers in endless 'training' programs that pay little if anything, leaving
the 'trainee' impoverished."
The report calls for:
* Ending segregated employment and the subminimum wage by restricting
all federal and state money that is spent on employers who segregate
employees with disabilities from the general workforce.
* Strengthening current and create new tax incentives for employers to
hire people with disabilities in integrated workplaces at comparable wages.
* Increasing labor protections and enforcement of existing law.
The report, found at http://www.ndrn.org/, is called Beyond Segregated and
Exploited: Update on the Employment of People with Disabilities and can be
found on-line at:
http://www.napas.org/images/
Segregated_and_Exploited.pdf
# # #
The National Disability Rights Network (NDRN) is the nonprofit membership
organization for the federally mandated Protection and Advocacy (P&A)
Systems and the Client Assistance Programs (CAP) for individuals with
disabilities. Collectively, the Network is the largest provider of legally
based advocacy services to people with disabilities in the United States.
Source:
http://www.napas.org/en/
rt-finds-government-dollars-
ilities.html
message. Copy and paste the entire URL into your browser)
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Back To Bragging!!!
I Brag that I worked out on the treadmill today for over an hour and have been almost every day for the past three weeks!! And when I say almost, I mean I've missed ONE day completely and there was one day where I only walked for about a half an hour!
I Brag that during my walk I spent 10 minutes spring cleaning on anger!
I Brag that after that I spent another 5 minutes or so coming up with affirmations and repeating them each 10 times!!!
These have been used by others I'm certain, but I waited and actually thought about them until they came to me!
I Brag I didn't force them out of me!
If they weren't working then I came up with something else!
These included:
"I love being healthy!"
"I deserve love!"
"I am beautiful!"
I later altered this to say:
"I am beautiful, bold, strong and confident!"
I'm usually not one for long, drawn out wordy affirmations *though this is exactly how I write letters and blog posts!!! Lol* but these felt right so I went with them irregardless of how long they were!
And:
"I shall receive all that I Desire!!"
I Brag that after my SC session I ended with a BGD as well!
I Brag that sometime last week I had expressed a Desire to untangle myself from the leader of this creation and instead retain an objective stance so that I could take advantage of BGDS and SC'ing whenever I need to.
I Brag it's working!!
I Brag at the end of my affirmations I remembered and acknowledged that I'm the only one who can determine whether or not I have a good day and I vowed to make the rest of this day as fabulous as humanly possible!!
I Desire to fill it with laughter, joy and happiness!!
I Brag I'm the shiiiiiit!!!
I Brag I found a Great Alternative radio station a couple weeks ago, 90's Alternative through radio tuner and it is Greeeeeeeaaaaaaat!!!
I Brag their playing Harvy Danger "Flag Pole Sitta" right now and I'm thrilled!!
I Brag that I got Sadie's fur cut Tuesday and she looks beautiful!!
She shivers like a chihuahua though! She's a CockerSpaniel or so they say! Lol.
She is but I pick on her since she shivers.
Rebecca calls her a squirrel and Dad calls her his little brown cow. Lol!
It's a miracle she even knows she's a Dog!
Finally, I Brag I'm in the process of making my name change legal!
I just got the paper from the Saginaw News stating that they ran the ad last Sunday!!
It actually ran last Saturday, but online it said it was updated Sunday.
So woohoo for me!!
Fingerprints and background check are already underway!
I Brag my court date is set for Monday 5/7 at 1:30!
I Brag that during my walk I spent 10 minutes spring cleaning on anger!
I Brag that after that I spent another 5 minutes or so coming up with affirmations and repeating them each 10 times!!!
These have been used by others I'm certain, but I waited and actually thought about them until they came to me!
I Brag I didn't force them out of me!
If they weren't working then I came up with something else!
These included:
"I love being healthy!"
"I deserve love!"
"I am beautiful!"
I later altered this to say:
"I am beautiful, bold, strong and confident!"
I'm usually not one for long, drawn out wordy affirmations *though this is exactly how I write letters and blog posts!!! Lol* but these felt right so I went with them irregardless of how long they were!
And:
"I shall receive all that I Desire!!"
I Brag that after my SC session I ended with a BGD as well!
I Brag that sometime last week I had expressed a Desire to untangle myself from the leader of this creation and instead retain an objective stance so that I could take advantage of BGDS and SC'ing whenever I need to.
I Brag it's working!!
I Brag at the end of my affirmations I remembered and acknowledged that I'm the only one who can determine whether or not I have a good day and I vowed to make the rest of this day as fabulous as humanly possible!!
I Desire to fill it with laughter, joy and happiness!!
I Brag I'm the shiiiiiit!!!
I Brag I found a Great Alternative radio station a couple weeks ago, 90's Alternative through radio tuner and it is Greeeeeeeaaaaaaat!!!
I Brag their playing Harvy Danger "Flag Pole Sitta" right now and I'm thrilled!!
I Brag that I got Sadie's fur cut Tuesday and she looks beautiful!!
She shivers like a chihuahua though! She's a CockerSpaniel or so they say! Lol.
She is but I pick on her since she shivers.
Rebecca calls her a squirrel and Dad calls her his little brown cow. Lol!
It's a miracle she even knows she's a Dog!
Finally, I Brag I'm in the process of making my name change legal!
I just got the paper from the Saginaw News stating that they ran the ad last Sunday!!
It actually ran last Saturday, but online it said it was updated Sunday.
So woohoo for me!!
Fingerprints and background check are already underway!
I Brag my court date is set for Monday 5/7 at 1:30!
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