Saturday, July 7, 2012

Morning Pages 2, Law and Order, LOCI, "reality" TV

Sun, May 16, 2010 at 2:35 AM

Once again, I start off with a blank, but only for a second. Lol. How
is that I can think I have nothing to write about, then boom!
something just pops into my head?? Ah well, go figure.
Anyway, I've been at my friend Holly's. Got there yesterday morning at
9AM, stayed until about 10PM tonight. I love going over there!! It's
so rejuvenating & soul satisfying! It's like a breath of spring, or a
horse ride to nowhere or a play date in the ocean. We may not always
be doing something, but the break from life itself is nice. It's like
we live life, but we're together, so it's not life, it's something
more then life. Life is for me, boring. Tedious. Something to wait for
instead of create. Wait for a ride, wait for a concert to come along,
wait for someone to take me seriously, wait to have more money, wait
to have more freedom. But when I'm with Holly, I'm not waiting for
anything except the exciting stuff. IE, concerts! But the boring
stuff, the tedious stuff just falls away. My only regret is that we
don't have more time to spend, or alternately, that I don't have other
friends I can/would want, to go stay with. I have people I know, or
online friends who I don't know, & online friends who I trust, or who
make me wonder sometimes, but not other friends that I can go stay
with for a few days or a week. We played games & hung out, she cooked
& I was the DJ. She also helped me copy a couple of posts to the
computer, so I'll be uploading those here when she emails them to me.
We talked & tortured kitties (Carmel & Bell), & went swimming
yesterday morning!! I love to swim!
Now I'm home & my doggie daughter Sadie was exstatic. She does this
thing, whenever I sing she howls! Lol. I don't always sing loudly
either, so I don't subscribe to other's theories that I'm hurting her
ears. She doesn't hide or run, she just howls along! I'd love to catch
her in the act so I could share! Lol. She's absolutely adorable!! So
perfect & well behaved &. . . yes, I know, every mother says this. . .
Lol. But she really is. Hardly ever makes a mess or anything like
that. She prances around & crawls to me on her belly, her front paws
out front & back paws lagging behind! She gives doggie kisses & even
has a soft mouth even though she doesn't have to. She likes to mouthe
me playfully, she never bites down. She came from a rescue mission,
was in a puppy mill before that & nobody wanted her. She'd been up on
the pet finder website for a month already. The day we got her she
just laid there. I sat there for an hour & a half petting her
incessantly while trying & succeeding in convincing her foster owner
that I was the owner for her. She actually owns me, but that's another
story. The woman hesitated to let a blind. girl. have her, but I
pushed & pushed fiercely! Sadie didn't lift her head & didn't move
from her corner, but I new I could be hers. When the lady finally gave
in I carefully slipped my hands under her & lifted her to my shoulder.
She shook all over & couldn't decide whether to run or not. She
finally gave up as we were leaving. To many scarry things going on
around us for her to want to run I guess. On the way home she picked
up her head & licked my hand. There was no going back after that!
She's mine forever!
I've been following Lissa's Radical Care program for the last 3 days.
Not perfectly, but I'm proud of the changes I have made. I also went
off & tried something new without waiting for someone to give me
permission for once! I tried the honey & cinamon mixture for cough
last night at Holly's. Oh how I haaaaate the taste! It makes me feel
nauseous! However, I think it's working, because I've gone from a
rattling, hacking, cough that pressures your body almost to the point
of exploding, down to a moderate cough. So I'm happy!
I lotioned myself up after my shower/bath Thursday, Friday & tonight.
It's actually pretty cool! I smell nice when I get out of the shower,
who doesn't? But not this nice. & tonight I took it a step farther.
I'm writing this completely naked except for a pair of underwear
tonight! That's a big step for me, because I don't like my scars & I
don't like my fat & I don't like having excessive body hair. . . & you
get the idea. So the fact that I'm almost naked & it's not 100 degrees
outside & I'm under the sheet naked is a big step. That's the only
time I'd have been naked in the past.
I haven't picked at or pulled on my nails in over a week!! Woohoo!!
It's hard to break habits, but it gives me hope that if I can break
something small like that, & I can stick to other small things, taking
a bath instead of showering & rrushing out, trying a different cold
remedy, then I can tackle bigger things like fear & anger & my diet!
I read in a discussion group that NBC is axing L&O! I can't believe
that!! I mean, I didn't watch every week, but I watched almost every
week, even if it was just reruns on TNT! First LOCI gets moved to USA
Network, then Katie & Vince leave (two of the greatest detectives ever
I might ad!!!), then LO SVU almost gets the ax/Chris & Marish might be
leaving (they aren't), Then there was talk of IceT leaving, he didn't,
& now this!!! L&O may not have the greatest ratings in the world, but
it was/is a great show & would have continued to be!
I'm sorry, but I am not a reality fan. So I ask you, what exactly will
NBC be putting in it's place? Another "reality" show? I've lived
reality. You girls have lived "reality". So why are they shoving
garbage down our throats???? MTV used to be a great network. They had
"MUSIC" IMAGINE THAT!!! "MUSIC"!! & yes, Daria! That was a great show!
But now they have road rules & real world. Hip-hop & pop all morning,
& rock videos on MTV2 from 3-4AM!! Pardon me, but what the hell is
that??????? Your a music network for God's sake!!!!
& so now what for NBC? Real Wife? The 3some express? Poligamy pride,
kind of like Big Cat diary on animal planet?? Actually, that's a bad
comparison, because I love Big Cat Diary. But you get my point.
Why not have a reality tv network, heck, two of them, or 4! There's at
least that many news & religious channels on cable. So why not do
that, then take TV back to TV! The Sunday or Monday night movies,
comedy shows that are actually funny (Golden Girls, Empty Nest, The
Cosby Show, Step by Step, Family Matters, etc). Dramas, & "real"
reality. Medical miracles, environmental stories, educational info for
the kiddies. Tell us how to get involved with our neighborhood watch,
or how to help someone else in need. & how about some good news
stories! A dog being rescued from an abusive owner, a little kid
raising money for a cause, etc. Sure, we hear these stories, but
exactly how many times do we hear them? Once a week? That doesn't make
up for the butt load of crap we get hurled at us every second of every
I suppose I'm off topic now, but the axing of L&O is just the
beginning, or not even a beginning, but a worsening of tv! I loved
90's tv! I loved some 80's & 70's tv! I realize the world is changing
& blah blah blah. But why can't it change for the better?
Tell me, when exactly did kim cardi whatever have to worry about
someone in her family starving to death? Or dying of an incurable
disease, or watching someone she loved go through a real crisis, like
having to undergo a myriad of operations or ending up in the ER with a
life threatening illness? All these Hollywood Hos, what exactly did
they do to get famous? Lip synch their way into infamy? When Milli
Vanilli did that, they lost street cred!!! paris hiltons sex tape? Is
that something worth being famous for??? What exactly are girls & even
women learning from this? If I shake my ass & show off my breasts or
whore around with as many men as possible, I TO, can be famous!!!!!
We should be famous for the right reasons, not the wrong ones. I'm not
bad mouthing them because I'm not famous. Personally, I've seen what
happens to people who are, Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Layne Staley,
Jim Morrison & I'm not sure that I'd want it if it were offered
tomorrow. But seriously!! Everyone needs to get lives, that don't
involve promoting these brainless nymphos to promanence. Give it to
the real working class, who've actually earned it!
Anyway, I really went off about that. Lol.
Case closed, L&O A)+++++, network TV, FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!
5 more days until I see SEETHER, woohoo!!!!!!!!!! I caaaaaan't
waaaaait!!!!! I'm over the moon already!!!
Heading to bed, maybe my thoughts will be quieter now,

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