Monday, December 10, 2012

#Reverb10 Fri. 12/17/10 - Lesson Learned

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Michelle Medina <>
Date: Fri, 17 Dec 2010 01:47:25 -0500
Subject: #Reverb10 Fri. 12/17/10 - Lesson Learned
To: michellem86 <>

December 17th:
Lesson learned.
What was the best thing you learned about yourself
this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

I learned just how strong I am. I learned to start telling the truth
about how I'm feeling. I don't have to be feeling good all the time &
when I'm feeling bad I don't have to lie about it in order to feel
better. I've always wanted to be like my Dad! Well, there's great
points to that & some not so great points. One of those not so great
points is his amazing ability to play keep away with his emotions. He
can be the most miserable person in the world for 'some reason' &
he'll tell you straight to your face that he's fine. I started doing
that a looong time ago. I wanted to be like him, to be the strong one,
the 'rock', the one who anybody could go to & would leave saying:
'Man, she can handle anything! She's amazing!' Funny thing is, I've
never believed it makes someone else weak to acknowledge their
emotions, to cry or scream or get things out. I only thought it was
weak if I did it, or asked for help. Now I'm learning that the advice
I gave is the same advice I need to follow. I am not weak for crying,
or for admitting that I need help & asking for it. What would make me
weak would be not asking for help when I needed it & not crying when I
needed to cry. Though I do have an amazing capacity to hold things in,
I also have an amazing ability to explode at the wrong time & let
those things out around all the wrong people or at all the wrong
I'll apply the lessons I've learned to my future by continuing to
strip myself bare, continuing to lay waste to my former self & give
birth to my new self! I will continue to remind myself of where I've
been & where I'm going so I won't be tempted to crawl back to where
I've been! Worst case scenario, if I fall back I'll keep these blogs,
letters, & memories to remind myself how to get back OUT so it won't
take me another 24 years to do so!

"Something in the way. . .
Hmmm. . .
Something in the way. . .
Hmmmm. . ."
--Kurt Cobain "Something In The Way"
"Pain? You don't know what pain is!!"--Author Unknown

No comments:

Post a Comment