December 3 – Moment.
Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe
it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).
99% of the time, if I feel completely alive, it's because I'm at a
concert. Most of the time, the opening bands suck & I basically try to
sleep through them, but when NONPOINT or SEETHER hit the stage, it's
like nothing I can even describe. The moving bodies in the moshpit,
the screaming fans: 'NONPOINT NONPOINT NONPOINT!!!' or 'SEETHER
SEETHER SEETHER!!!' It's this churning mass of humanity, this boiling,
wild, crazy mix of lust & hate, sensuality & sexuality, animalistic
rage & passionate love, tremendous angst & insane abandon. I'm one of
the few, the proud, people who don't drink at a show, I want to
remember everything! If SHAUN MORGAN *SEETHER frontman* creates a new
lyric I want to remember! If ELIAS SORIANO *NONPOINT frontman* cracks
a joke about michigan's f-f-f-freezing weather, how he encountered a
bear wearing pants it was soooo cold!!!, I want to remember that.
Every accidental chord progression, wrong note, fierce cry or soft
moan, I want to remember the entire thing! It's hard to describe it
beyond that. What does a concert feel like *in terms of texture*? What
does it smell like? Does it have a taste? That's hard to say. As for
color, people naturally think rock concert, so black is an ovbious
color. While black is an ovbious color, it's not always correct. I
will dress up for concerts occasionally, alternately dressing in
comfortable pants & teeshirt or dress up pants, or maybe even a skirt
or dress. Sometimes I go with the intention of hanging with the band &
getting something *a shirt or CD* signed, but most of the time, I go
strictly for the sake of being with the band! I go for the hugs, the
encouraging words ELIAS provides or the gooffy banter that floats back
& forth casually between us. There's so much more to a concert then
the concert itself, or the beer & black tees, or even the ocasional
smell of marijuana that comes wafting at me. Concerts for me are like
life, but all in one night. At a concert I can scream & cry & vent! I
can make love to the band & the crowd & they'll make love back! I can
be ME! & not wonder: 'Is that person staring at me? Are they wondering
how come I look 'different'? Did they notice my cane? Did they see the
scar on my lip?' I completely fit in at a concert! I've had the honor
of touching both ELIAS'S & SHAUN'S faces. Those experiences were
priceless & for me to try & explain what that was like. . . There
aren't words. Such an intimate act, such a different way to connect
with another person, to truly connect with them! To feel & sense their
essence, their smell, to feel how they react to my touch. *I don't go
around feeling everybody's faces. . . Just to clarify. I only ask
permission from those whom I truly identify with & whom I genuinely
want to get a feel for, a picture in my head of what they look like*.
There's nothing like that feeling, NOTHING! So for me, concerts are my
rainbow, my technicolored light show, my disco ball or my way of
reflecting who'/what I really am, not the part of me that says I'm
ugly or fat or stupid, but the part of me that is truly speaking for
me, the sensual, sexual, confident beautiful part of me! The Goddess
in me that rarely dares to show herself for fear of being shunned.
That is what a concert means to me, that is life, so much pain & the
ultimate pleasure & all in about 2 hours or a bit less.
"Something in the way. . .
Hmmm. . .
Something in the way. . .
Hmmmm. . ."
--Kurt Cobain "Something In The Way"
"Pain? You don't know what pain is!!"--Author Unknown