The Virgin Sex Chronicles: Sexual Taboos?

Originally Posted: Date: Sun, 21 Nov 2010 17:23:18 -0500

I first read Kristen's blog about her new venture "Shevolved" & then
went to Dolphin Dance to check out their site & locations. Turns out
they have 3 of them! One being in Monroe MI. Still not IDEAL for me,
since I live in Montrose, nearly 2 hours from Detroit & I'm not sure
exactly how far away from Monroe! Lol. Here in mid-MI, we base
everything on up North or down South, South = Detroit, North =
Lansing. Of course, that cuts out the UP entirely, but who's counting
on that since we bearly go 'up there'? Lol. Anyway, I next looked at
prices & thought: 'Gah!!! & where exactly will the money come from!
For Godsake, their talking about foreclosing on our house!' I'm a
very, TO logical person. Logic is great, but sometimes, & I'm learning
this through coaching *can you tell it's a hard lesson for me to
learn?*, all it does is get in my way! So I looked at the schedule &
thought: 'Poll Dancing 101. . . Hmm? belly dancing. . . Lap
dancing?????? This could get interesting.'
Then I thought back to a conversation I'd had with my best friend last
weekend. I don't know how we got on the subject, but I said: 'I'm
going to give my kids permission to do what they want, as adults, in
the privacy of their own homes.' So you may be wondering where that
came from?? When I was 5-6 I actually went to my mother & asked her
permission to start masturbating. Quite an interesting way to go about
it, right? Luckily, that was one of the ways my mother did go about it
in the right way. What I mean by that is there was no taboo put on it,
no yelling or anything like that. Her attitude was 'Go for it! Do what
you want!' Lol. Funny, but it worked. When I got older, I'd wonder
about other stuff though. 'Is it okay to give a guy a blowjob? Is it
okay for two women to have sex? How about two guys? Where is the
boundary between good & not good?'
Ovbiously, there are certain boundaries that are quite ovbious. Child
pornography being a perfect example. Beyond that though, how about
bondage? Oral sex? Anal sex? So things got pretty tied up in my head
for a while, until I started untangling them myself. It occured to me,
as with everything else, what's right for one person may be seen as
wrong for someone else. So that's how the conversation with my BFF got
started.
On another note, I signed up at a few penpal websites & got a reply
from a man who works in the sex industry as a porn star. I NEVER
thought I'd talk to a porn star, I'm ashamed to say I got caught up in
the 'taboo' of it & figured I'd never talk to 'one of those' people.
We've been talking for a few weeks now, & while we do talk about sex,
we also talk about our lives past & present & for me, what I'm looking
towards in the future. It's been great to have someone to talk to, but
what I like more is that I've opened up ALOT! Lol. I feel like I'm
learning how to talk to a man about sex, whereas I've always only
talked to women before. My goal would be that when I find the person I
want to spend the rest of my life with, I'll be able to be as open
with them as I am with him simply because I've learned how to be more
open with his help. I was never a prude by any means, but he lays it
all out there! Lol. My goal: to do the same. He's not relationship
material, not for me, but being friends & not thinking about him as a
sexual partner has left the door wide open for me to be honest.
& for those of you feeling motherly towards me, no worries, he's
across the pond! Lol.
In terms of looking at the classes I mentioned above, I can see my way
of thinking is working, because I didn't automatically think: 'So is
this good or bad?' I just thought: 'I'd like to try some of this
stuff. I think it'd be cool!' So maybe I will & maybe I won't. Or
maybe I will, but not until next year or 2 years from now. I'm
starting to live my own life as I expected others lived their's all
along. Not viewing things in black or white, really finding the grey.
I honestly don't know where good/bad came from, but my goal is to
eradicate them from my vocabulary & help my future children to do the
same! I want them to be liberated & happy, not all tied up & wondering
what they can/can't do, should/shouldn't do, & speaking of that,
should is another word I'm working on dumping. It's been somewhat
difficult, but I'm working my way towards success!
Here's to liberation for all!!!
Chelle